My extreme anger management problems, my verbal abuse against my boyfriend, and my new religious preoccupations (conversion to Islam and adoption of full hijab, a decision i am very happy with) has caused my family to accuse me of being bipolar. My sister said, ‘you are doing this because we grew up in an abusive home. I wasn’t always around, I don’t know what happened to you, but you are only choosing this religion b/c you have issues with your body.’
My mom recently divorced my stepfather. She will not tell my all the reasons why.
I have ALWAYS had the memory of a man on his knees holding his sexual organ in front of a toilet, beckoning me to come closer. I cannot see his face in the memory and that is all i remember.
Religion apart, do you think something happened to me that is causing these bipolar symptoms? It is so taboo and I am scared to ask my mom if i was molested. But I need to know because I am scared to have kids because i tell my bf I think he will molest my kids
I don’t know much about repressed memory, it is a controversial subject.
I would however comment that a severe psychological upset can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A very common symptom of the disorder is flashbacks. The disorder includes an altered levels of adrenaline and/or cortisol, which can cause symptoms which are often seen in bi-polar disorder.
(I’m sure you appreciate that elevated adrenaline results in ‘anger’)
"I am scared to ask my mom if i was molested"
avoidance of related matters is a symptom of PTSD.
"need to know because I am scared to have kids because i tell my bf I think he will molest my kids"
You may well be correctly suspicious/hypervigilent, but irrational thoughts are also symptoms of PTSD/depression.
There’s also a condition called Complex PTSD, which I think your sister might have been referring to ("we grew up in an abusive home")
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder
I think you should see your doctor.
Ax
.
October 31st, 2009 at 2:25 pm
I don’t know much about repressed memory, it is a controversial subject.
I would however comment that a severe psychological upset can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A very common symptom of the disorder is flashbacks. The disorder includes an altered levels of adrenaline and/or cortisol, which can cause symptoms which are often seen in bi-polar disorder.
(I’m sure you appreciate that elevated adrenaline results in ‘anger’)
"I am scared to ask my mom if i was molested"
avoidance of related matters is a symptom of PTSD.
"need to know because I am scared to have kids because i tell my bf I think he will molest my kids"
You may well be correctly suspicious/hypervigilent, but irrational thoughts are also symptoms of PTSD/depression.
There’s also a condition called Complex PTSD, which I think your sister might have been referring to ("we grew up in an abusive home")
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder
I think you should see your doctor.
Ax
.
References :
October 31st, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Hello There,
I was molested throughout my childhood by my grandfather and then as an adault I was raped by two guys. I also have bipolar disorder among some other mental health issues. I have some repressed memory and it comes to visit me at times of which are scarey but also welcoming as I would like to know what all happened to me. I want to deal with these issues. But thats just how I want to personally handle my situation.
I had a serious anger management problem as well. I was always yelling at my poor kids and I had a short fuse with everyone else. Always argueing with people and so on. I made very poor decisions especially with men. I had turned to drugs and alcohol in my younger years of which has destroyed my life in many ways. I finally said, I NEED HELP and now and so I went to get it and got it.
You seem to have a lot of anger inside you because of family life ect. and it’s wonderful that you are reaching out for help. Asking for help is a hard and brave thing to do.
As far as your religion peference is concerned. I believe that no one has the right to say anything about that. That’s your choice. And if your happy about this religion choice you have made then stick with it. The goal in everyones life I think is to be happy. It’s a shame that some people have to come and try to end ones happiness. Just because you’ve made the decisions you have doesn’t mean you have bipolar disorder but I think you should get some professional advice to ease your mind and get some anger issues taken care of. I was put on a medication that really helped my anger problems. And growing up in an abusive home will cause anger, saddness, and all the other feelings that are involved.
I think that your mother will tell you about the divorce when she is ready to. She may be and probably is trying to work through her pain etc about the whole thing. Maybe you should just give her some time to work through what she needs to work through. But it is hard to have patience through it all. I am a very impatient person and want to know things right away but I have to bring myself down again and realize that I need to slow down and thats not an easy thing to do. It takes a lot of work. Taking care of yourself is a lot of work. Life just isn’t always fair.
I hope I’ve helped in any way. Good luck and remember your number one and you need to help yourself in any way possible so that you can be happy. And I was afraid to have children to so I know where your coming from.
I hope that you end up having a wonderful life because we all deserve it. Life is to short to be unhappy.
References :
Just from my own personal experiences, research, and my daughters own mental illnesses.