Comments on: Have you overcome problems with confrontation?

By: dark angel

dark angel — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 13:19:59 +0000

It is time to choose.witch won is best for you.You have already helped him and now it is you turn.Let him go and I think that you will be happyer.Just say that you need time by yourself and that its time for you to leave.It may hurt for a while but you know that it is the right thing to do.Your friend Dark Angel.
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By: y_eryi

y_eryi — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:50:59 +0000

You have to be realistic and objective in your statements when talking to this individual.

If he gets offensive, tell him right off, that isn’t acceptable and that it hurts your feelings that he is acting this way towards you and that you’d rather focus on finding a solution to this situation.
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By: jack w

jack w — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:06:59 +0000

You’re being an "enabler". Have serious discussion with the man, tell him that finances require his getting a job, becoming independent, and growing emotionally. Set a time table and stick to it.

If he fails to met the goals, then you’re going to have to exercise ‘tough love’ and insist that he depart your home.

As a side note, how do you know he was abused? Is the only evidence his story? How old is he? Sound like he’s developing using ‘abuse’ as a crutch for the rest of his life.
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By: batgirlmeg

batgirlmeg — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 11:49:59 +0000

I totally understand.

It’s really important for you to feel comfortable in your own home though…

It’s only fair to lay down ground rules and let him know that he is a GUEST in your home and he needs to shape up.

If he doesn’t listen… then yes, you are totally being taken advantage of…

If he doesn’t listen, he’s out…
Just because you feel bad for him does NOT mean he’s your responsibility now…

Good luck and God bless…
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By: dmythos

dmythos — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 11:13:59 +0000

You need to talk to him in a non confrontational way. You need to express your feelings in such a calm way that he can know you are asking him for help, not blaming him of the situation.
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By: atheism_and_rats

atheism_and_rats — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 10:43:59 +0000

Wow. Why associate and nurture societies dregs, if your ill equipped to, and it bothers you? Move away, get a job, and re-integrate with the human race, or play "I wonder Why.." forever.
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