Anger in relationships is very common and this is for an array of reasons. At some point in a relationship, you are bound to feel angry and this is not unusual at all. There are people who never stop being angry while in relationships and this is not healthy at all. When you enter into a relationship, it is vital for you to know how to deal with anger in relationships. It is not very practical when I say you need to avoid anger but, it is possible for you to avoid unnecessary anger which might cause your relationship to take the wrong turn. The following are some of the things that you need to keep from, if you wish to avoid causing unnecessary anger in your relationships. First, be careful while hurling insults. Insults whether justified or not have a way of sparking disaster and strife in your relationship. Mostly, yelling is another thing that puts off many partners. Partners in relationships need to respect each other and yelling to one another can cause great anger.
To avoid anger in relationships, you need to be careful while playing the blame game. Trying to make your partner look guilty is not the way to solve the problem. Shifting blame can go on forever and what you need to do is to look for an amicable solution that can benefit both of you. Another thing that is sure to bring up anger in relationships is avoiding issues. This is a problem especially when one partner wants to deal with the issue while the other is behaving like there is no issue to talk about. Also, you should not leave a problem solved half way. This is because you need to ensure that all issues are looked at. Avoid anger emanating from this as much as possible, Remember, relationships have many problems and if you can avoid some, you will be doing yourself a great service. Other things to avoid are tendencies to dominate a conversation. Communication must go both ways if you want to be effective. There are partners who keep interrupting their spouses while speaking and this is a behavior that can make anybody angry. For this reason, you need to ensure that you give your spouse a chance to speak.
Anger in relationships can also be caused by a spouse bringing up old issues bringing back old memories and reviving old wounds. For this reason, you need to deal with issues and burry them. If there is something that your partner does to offend you, you need to tell them that it is wrong and, or that it offends you. This way, you can communicate what feels wrong to you. All in all, you will learn to solve problems without getting angry for a long time. One thing that I think all people need to consider is a wise saying from scripture which says ‘be angry and do not sin’. Some people have cheated while others have killed just because of anger; do not let anger win in your life.
Francis Githinji
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/dealing-with-anger-in-relationships-727618.html
February 16th, 2010 at 5:13 am
What are some good ways to deal with anger in close personal relationships?
[Asking from within the ubiquitous context of spousal domestic relations!]
February 16th, 2010 at 10:15 am
Discuss issues when you are both calm, with an agreement in advance to take a "time out" if things heat up even a bit. Resume discussions at a later time. Bring in an objective third party (trained and licensed counselor) if you need help discussing some issues.
On a day to day basis, refrain from pushing the other persons buttons, even if they try pushing yours, try not to respond to that.
Take a walk to cool down.
Approach things with humour … good sincere humour … never the sick kind that is aimed at hurting.
If you are in a place that arguing/anger is a frequent issue, then I highly recommend marriage counseling.
Good luck!
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:17 am
don’t get angry, just smile, say yes and do what you think you should do.
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:19 am
Breath and count to 3
If that don’t work walk away
If that don’t work seek counseling
If that don’t work get a divorce
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:21 am
From the day i got married things seemed so rosy for the first six months, then it came to a stage where I came to really discoveri the true attitude of my spouse. We started having arguments but thats normal in a marriage..to have arguments, to learn from, to experience, to improve, to work at differences and to come to an understanding. I guess you could say, two people arent the same and you must learn to work things out. I have been in a marriage where i’ve tried working things out despite being assaulted often but my advice to you is dont give up trying to work at a true relationship if you think its worth fighting for. Anger – get out of the house or try to keep your cool. Control your mouth to avoid any negative things if uttered will ruin your relationship. Take time out..go to a place to be alone and to cool yourself down. Talk to someone whom you trust to share what you feel if you cant share it at that moment with your spouse. Talking to someone helps believe me.. Dont keep quite and let it all erupt later where you will regret your actions.
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:23 am
walk away cool down then talk
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:25 am
Instead of becoming angry at someone tell yourself: "There is something I do not understand here. There is a reason that they are behaving this way." Listen. "Seek first to understand then be understood."
"No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care."
References :
February 16th, 2010 at 10:27 am
Get above the anger zone. Get in touch with your Spiritual self, whether it be contemplation, meditation, prayer, whatever your means. Go within to your heart center and get in touch with the love that is always within you. Find the love that you once felt for your partner. Now, come back and act with that love. Having said that, it’s important to recognize that there may be issues within the relationship that need serious attention. If that is the case, find a good therapist, invite your partner, but go, even if your partner does not. A good therapist will help you sort out the issues and find your own answers.
References :
MA Counseling Psychology
February 16th, 2010 at 10:29 am
what my wife and i do,its rare we argu, but when there is something wrong between us, ill cook a nice supper for her, with candlelight, soft music,no phones, or any interuptions, sit down with her at the table, hold each others hands and look at her in the eyes, and talk to her softly, and ask what is wrong, and try to talk calm with her, give sudjestions, and take some to, try to compremise, it works great for us, we never go to bed angry with each other,you never know when one never wakes up, and you didnt have the chance to say im sorry, and i love you, weve been together for 10 years, and im sure with the way we work our problems out, well be together again for at least another 10 years, if not more, just try it, youll be surprised.
References :