My husband has some anger problems. No drinking and he isn’t violent toward me just mean sometimes. He acknowledges his problems but doesn’t think that there is anything he can do to help it. He said that when he’s upset its usually without reason just will be mad and said that he will get overwhelmed like it won’t stop and he doesn’t think rationally to think himself out of it. We are bad in debt and can’t really afford for him to go talk to a therapist right now (future we may be able to)so I’m trying to kind of compile a list of options. Thank you all!
My boyfriend and I both have anger problems… we try to talk it out and relax, count to 10, meditate, pray. Church helps me… I am much nicer after going to church, sleep helps… he is nicer when he gets lots of sleep.
Anyone have any tips on coping with anger problems?
6 Responses
Leave a Comment
October 4th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
My boyfriend and I both have anger problems… we try to talk it out and relax, count to 10, meditate, pray. Church helps me… I am much nicer after going to church, sleep helps… he is nicer when he gets lots of sleep.
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I just found this out in therapy last week and it helps me a lot.
Anger is a "secondary emotion". In other words, anger is always caused by another emotion so if you eliminate the other emotion, the anger automatically goes away.
For instance: if you are angry about money problems, it may be caused by fear of wht if you can’t afford the rent or what will my friends think if i can’t afford to eat out with them? Work on this emotion ( fear in this example) and the anger will take care of itself. So, tell your husband to find the underlying emotion. There is ALWAYS one, sometimes hard to find.
References :
Therapy to get over anger of sexual assault.
October 4th, 2009 at 6:04 pm
When he gets upset he can do something physical. Like lifting weights, doing sit-ups, push-ups, go for a walk to clears his head. When he says he isn’t upset about anything the physical stuff will help. Figure out if you can change what upsets/angers one and don’t worry about the things one cannot change.
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
This is one thing that might help.
Keep an anger log. Whenever his anger is aroused, write down what had happened prior to the outburst. Keep the logue for a couple of weeks and see if there are any areas that seem to have a pattern. This may help him see and work through those issues.
Has he had his blood pressure checked recently, this can be cause anger to rise up too. How is his sleeping patterns. There are more than just emotional reasons to be angry..
Maybe he is having problems because funds are low, I know my hubby does.
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Some therapists offer free services. You may want to contact therapistfinder.com and see is there are any therapists in your area willing to see you at a reduced cost.
As far as tips are concerned, here is a list of things he can do.
1. Identify the real problem. (you mentioned money. So, he is probably feeling frustrated, angry, upset, impatient and sad about the money problem. With no way of fixing your money problems, then there is no hope, no end to the feelings that result from not having money)
2. Discuss real solutions to the problem (getting a better job, going to school, college, trade school. Cut back on your spending, eliminate unnessecary bills.
3. Talk about your feelings with someone else. Friend, spouse, co-worker.
4. Exercise, get that physical energy out the good way.
5. Go to a anger management group.
6. Buy a book on managing your anger.
References :
October 4th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Hi,
I used "Credit Solution" to settle my debt and improve my credit score.They managed to reduce my debt up to 58%.It’s legitimate.I came across this company on NBC News Special Edition.Check it out here:
http://urlcut.com/1pnbv
References :