He contacted our local children’s aid society, b/c my stepson (8) is just too much for either of us to handle and has some serious disabilities with social skills and anger management. The children’s aid social worker was REALLY nice, she’s calling around for free or subsidized programs for my stepson to attend regularly that are local to us. We gave her my stepson’s mom’s phone number so maybe she could help her find the same programs in her area (lives 1 hour away), b/c the kids spend equal time with both families.
However, instead of being happy that the boy can have local and cost effective help, she’s STILL panicked at the term "children’s aid", although they have several departments and are doing their best to help.
Is she hiding something? We had a good meeting with them, they came to visit and had some great things to say, all in all a really helpful meeting. However, she’s panicked. Makes me feel like she feels that she has something to hide, which is a bit worrying.
Should my husband worry, he wonders what she’s hiding. I think he should just let the social worker handle it and see what happens.
She’s already mentioned "going back to the courts", we’re not sure for what exactly, but seems like a really panicked and fishy response.
I think she may just feel a bit insecure about childrens aid. Perhaps she’s heard a horror story or isn’t that confident in their procedures. I doubt it’s because of anything suspicious unless you suspect the child is being mistreated or abused. That may be the case if she has a firm hold on NOT going, but I think you just need to approach her with rationale and ask her if she has any issues with this and or/what they are. It may be best for your husband to approach this if you aren’t on speaking terms with the mother.
March 11th, 2010 at 6:00 am
Every mother wants a perfect child no matter what behaviors and issues they have. If the child receives the help he needs then in her mind she failed as a mother and perceives this as against her. The social worker should talk to her about all the pluses that will happen when her son gets help and that all parents have to be supportive or this.
Good luck. Not easy.
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March 11th, 2010 at 6:16 am
Poster above me has a good point. When your child has an emotional or social problem, you feel like it’s your failure as a mother. There is another point that’s being forgotten too. If it seems like you two can’t handle your step-son, she might be thinking that you two are doing something wrong too. She might be considering if their son would be better off in her care. From the sounds of it, it doesn’t sound like a fully cooked plan, so I wouldn’t worry overly about it. The fact that you are trying to get this child help for his problems will reflect positively on you. Maybe the mother just needs some time to come around to it…
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March 11th, 2010 at 6:41 am
I think she may just feel a bit insecure about childrens aid. Perhaps she’s heard a horror story or isn’t that confident in their procedures. I doubt it’s because of anything suspicious unless you suspect the child is being mistreated or abused. That may be the case if she has a firm hold on NOT going, but I think you just need to approach her with rationale and ask her if she has any issues with this and or/what they are. It may be best for your husband to approach this if you aren’t on speaking terms with the mother.
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March 11th, 2010 at 6:49 am
She is probably worried. I had to put my son into foster care when he was 4 months old because I was too sick to look after him and had no family. It was through children’s aid but it was the positive side that no one really sees. When people hear Children’s Aid they automatically think that they are going to lose their children. This is not the case. My son spent a week in voluntary foster care and when he came home I was well enough to look after him because their program allowed me the time I needed to heal.
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