If you think that you can ever frame a perfect set of rules to control children, you are mistaken. Give them maximum freedom for that is the real way to control them. Various tricks have to be employed at the appropriate time to bring children under control. A kid with lots of anger is a problem. It indeed reflects lots of stress and frustration in the child.
To help child manage his stress, it is necessary first to locate the source of its negative emotions. The question of management arises when you know what exactly is to be managed.
It is wrong to suppress the feelings of child, positive or negative, with force. Every age has some special activities related to it. Let the child enjoy his age. Childhood arrives, but once in a lifetime. In your life time and his life time!
Now, the question arise how to help child manage the stress? You can manage the anger and frustration of child gradually. Find out the stressors and act accordingly. The child must be taught what needs to be watched and monitored to debar stress. Reward the good deeds and punish the bad ones.
But then, punishing the children is not an easy task. Therefore, you find the parents especially the mothers on the look out and she is ever ready to accept revised suggestions from the experienced elders, educators and community leaders. Children will be children. What matters is how do you handle them during those moments of outbursts. Notwithstanding all the latitude that you show, the child needs to know that you mean discipline and that you will implement it with lots of strictness.
There is a special method to handle them. By experience, you know what are the routine problems of your child. With force being ruled out, diplomacy and tact should be your tools to achieve the objective. Listen to them patiently, let them empty their complaint basket first. And give them the appropriate suggestions to solve these problems.
Let the child know when you will love them and when they are likely to be punished.
Parenting teens is no ordinary challenge. Many a times you become frustrated and you yourself need stress management tips. This is the crucial time, when children spend most of the time in your company and their ideal and idol are you. You need to set a perfect example regarding any matter, so that they can emulate you!
Ashish Jain
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/how-to-help-a-child-with-stress-108304.html
March 16th, 2010 at 7:56 am
how do i emotionally support a child with stress and anxiety without using medication as a first resort?
i don’t want a child to become dependant on medications to cope with this, unless it’s a last resort. Would prefer some strategies on helping her to feel safe and maybe help her learn to manage as much as she can and then she can make her own decisions via medication when she is older. please only answer if you know what you’re talking about, thanks!
March 16th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
First of all, how old is the child and what has she been through? Sometimes just being there & letting her talk (without pressuring her) could work. Art is a good way to get out emotions in a positive way. My daughter & I went through some stress & the more I pressured her to talk, the more she "clammed up". Then she acted out in other ways.
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
cognitive behavioural therapy …. my son suffers with ocd and depression … i wont type it all in here but google it .. heres a few links for u …
References :
http://www.nacbt.org/whatiscbt.htm
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Making+sense/MakingsenseCBT.htm
March 16th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
I don’t know if the degree of stress and anxiety is the same here, but when one of my little guys has a bad dream or gets upset about something, I try to make a joke out of it. Once they’re laughing it’s pretty hard to go back to crying. Find something the child finds amusing (for my guys, unfortunately it’s farts and things, and I’m just thrilled…..not) and use it. Eg, when my youngest says he can’t go to sleep cos of the monster he thinks is in the cupboard, I tell him to just fart at it and the monster will just faint. He thinks that’s hilarious and his very real fear is soon gone with a bit of embellishment on the theme.
I find if you don’t make too big a deal of it, they soon learn it’s nothing to worry about, whatever the problem is. If they see you stressed about them being stressed, they get scared there’s a real problem, I think, and it goes on in a big vicious circle.
Above all, big hugs and lots of ‘em, I say!
Good luck!
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:04 pm
Hi,
Avoidance or minimization of stimulants. No caffeine, minimize use of asthma medications if possible (bronchodilators, theophylline), avoid use of nasal decongestants, some cough medications, and diet pills.
Good sleep habits. Getting adequate, restful sleep improves response to interventions to treat anxiety disorders.
Reduction of stressors. Identify and remove or reduce stressful tasks or situations at home, school and work.
Psychological Treatments
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: addresses underlying “automatic” thoughts and feelings that result from thoughts, as well as specific techniques to reduce or replace maladaptive behavior patterns
Psychotherapy: Centers on resolution of conflicts and stresses, as well as the developmental aspects of an anxiety disorders solely through talk therapy
Behavioral Therapies: focus on using techniques such as guided imagery, relaxation training, progressive desensitization, flooding as means to reduce anxiety responses or eliminate specific phobias
You will find some really good stuff here too!
http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/psychology/stress/anxiety-in-children.asp
Good Luck!
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
I’m dealing with a similar problem with our 5 yr old. She gets stressed and has anxiety attacks if she makes a mistake or if she forgets something at school or if her grades aren’t perfect! My two grown children suffered from the same thing, I believe it stems from the child trying to please everyone, peers, parents, etc. It turns them into "worry warts". I always told my children that it was okay to make mistakes and not to be perfect all the time, that’s one of the things that makes us different from other people and that’s what helps us grow as human beings…..by learning from our mistakes. I don’t know how old your child is but the following site has some sound advice for children and we use it often.
I feel your pain!!! Good luck!!
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/5_steps.html
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Teach her the mindfulness breathing method at http://www.coolnurse.com/stress.htm Tai Chi and yoga may also be helpful. Chamomile tea, with honey, but no milk (warm, not hot!), can’t hurt, and may be of benefit, and if you tell her it is a medicine, to help her with her problems, at the very least, she will know that you care about her wellbeing, and the placebo effect will be operative.
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
A child at a tender age tends to be pressurised and anxious, after all there are so many new, unexposed things that they are going to meet, face and conquer over. You can ask the child what she is uncertained of, and what are the concerns she has in her mind currently, then ask her what would she do if she wants to solve it. Train her independence slowly. If she failed at something, tell her it’s alright and encourage her again. Let her trust her own instincts on what she should do. If what she is doing is incorrect, let her know gently that you would not accept that or that, that is not the right way. Ultimately, be a friend to her so that she can feel you are the one she can confide in without getting judgement.
Give her a safe and predictable environment so that she can slowly learn how to solve matters before independence. Without an assurance of safety, emotions like fear or anger may emerge and overwhelm her and cause behaviours that are rejecting of other children (if she goes to school).
Let her know that you would always be there for her and solve everything with her step by step. She will gradually learn how to do it and that is when she would be able to come in contact with her own feelings and overcome her own stress and anxiety problems.
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March 16th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
I think it depends on the age of the child, and also what is causing the stress and anxiety. Without that info i can only imagine what you are talking about.
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