An introduction to Uprooting Anger by Kay W. Camenisch.
Duration : 12 min 9 sec
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http://addadhdadvances.com/a
Sep
29
Several studies show that girls’ self-esteem and self-confidence tends to decline after about age nine as girls enter puberty. How do you encourage self confidence and increase self esteem during these early years? There are things that can be done. This article will review some of those things.
Start with limiting your young girl’s television watching. Of course, this is easier said than done. Studies show television programs and advertising can have a negative effect on viewers. Television shows targeted toward children are mixed with many advertising messages. Some of these messages are very subtle, while other messages are quite clear.
Of course we cannot blame the media for everything. We can, however, realize that too much television may negatively affect our children’s self esteem and confidence. For example, children who learn at a young age that food equals happiness, may have problems with body image later in life. Television advertising and programs present ongoing messages to young children that “things” are the solutions to problems and the route to happiness. These messages only exaggerate feelings of low self worth if a child does not possess all these “things,” or the “right things.”
As children age, the “things” can change into a perfect body. Not have the right things can translate into body image problems and other self-destructive behaviors.
Another method of encourage self confidence in young girls is providing positive role models. As girls become more aware of how women around them act and respond to various situations it becomes more important for those women to present positive impressions. If the women in a young girl’s immediate environment hide their anger or express their anger inappropriately the young girl may think it is not okay to be angry, open and honest about angry feelings. The young girl may feel as though she cannot stand up for herself as this is just not an appropriate expression of feeling angry about something. Internal anger can express itself in feelings of low self-esteem and low confidence. Depression may become a problem as the result of repressed anger. Unexpressed anger can surface in very self-destructive ways which may include eating disorders and substance abuse. It is unfortunate that so many women never learn how to express their feelings in an appropriate manner. They did not have positive role models. This cycle needs to be broken if you are going to encourage self confidence in the young girls of your immediate environment. For major issues consider seeking professional help for yourself and for the sake of the young girls in your immediate environment.
It is important to encourage learning and education. There are studies that show girls with a strong educational background are less likely to run into trouble as teenagers. The more your young girls know, the better able they are to make decisions. Encourage learning in math and science. These seem to be two areas where “girls” have been pushed aside in the past. Girls are just as capable in math and science as is boys. This attitude is improving; however, girls are still viewed as less likely to succeed in these areas. Encouragement in math and science can promote increased self confidence and prepare girls for the changing work environment that relies more and more on technology. This is not to say other areas of learning are less important. Encouragement in these areas can help provide balance to an education that is still not quite equal between girls and boys.
Encourage young girls to try new things and discover their talents. Learning what we are good at, and being encouraged to follow these directions, can greatly improve self-esteem and self confidence. When talents or dreams are dismissed, this can easily be perceived as a personal rejection. When girls are encouraged to pursue their interests and develop their talents, they hear the message that they are important. Girls who feel valued by their parents and other important figures in their life are less likely to seek validation from other sources, many of which are not the positive influences desired.
Helping young girls develop a healthy self-esteem and self confidence is an ongoing process. As you work on solutions together, you can help young girls develop independence and the self confidence they need to transition into adulthood.
This article is FREE to publish with the resource box.
Connie Limon
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/how-to-encourage-self-confidence-in-girls-137664.html
Sep
29
Stress, like the weather, is ever present in our lives. While unavoidable, we can make it more manageable, just as we can dress appropriately to suit weather conditions. Stress, defined as our reactions to external situations or internal psychological states, affects our physical health and emotional well-being. Despite all the advice that has been written about stress, why are so many of us overwhelmed by it?
One reason is that we find it difficult to accept that living itself causes various forms of stress, making it impossible to eliminate. Nor is all stress bad. The satisfying excitement of achievements and happy events in our lives result in a stress that we welcome. But it is realistic to avoid–or at least reduce–the harmful forms of psychological stress (e.g., worries, anxieties, fears, irritability and depression) and the damaging physiological reactions (e.g., increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, muscular tensions, and an impaired immune system). Stress may also cause us to behave destructively.
Let me say that in coping with stress, we should avoid ineffective or self-defeating techniques, including overindulgence in alcohol, smoking and the use of illegal drugs. These temporary methods not only fail to relieve stress but cause more damage–physically, emotionally, relationship and job- wise. Users become addicted to them and all too often spiral out of control.
Another approach to controlling stress is the use of psychotropic drugs prescribed by physicians. But as a psychologist, I use behavioral and other psychotherapeutic techniques. With most people, these treatments are effective. But they involve the persons participating in their own recovery. However, if the person’s stress is severe, medical consultation could be indicated. Knowledgeable physicians will treat their patients with an effective drug that has the fewest side effects and will follow up on the patient’s progress. They will also reduce or eliminate the medication when the stress is manageable. The patient should not hesitate to question the psychiatrist about the medications and their effects. Often, psychotherapy may be indicated to make more effective and lasting progress.
Physical causes for stresses should not be overlooked. A good physical work-up may be necessary to find out if medical treatment is indicated. Sometimes, medications themselves can cause stress reactions. In considering the cause of stress, we may need to play detective.
Let us keep in mind that people differ in their coping styles. Even with the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakup, losing one’s job or a serious financial setback, some people are more resilient. Others recover more slowly or are even stymied in moving on with their lives. Those whose suffering is severe or lengthy should not avoid seeking professional help. As a consumer advocate, I would suggest that the person consider the various treatment options and consider the pros and cons of each.
Strange as it may sound, stress can be helpful! Like pain, it can motivate us to make changes in our lives or to obtain the necessary treatment that can not only reduce stress, but also improve our lives. I can give two examples in my own life. One concerned a job that was damaging my physical health and psychological well-being. Those stresses made me quit the job, return to school and change my career. A second was an overwhelming workload and a weight gain that were taking a physical and emotional toll on my health. I switched to a nutritious eating pattern and started practicing meditation techniques; both improved my physical and psychological health. I must admit that I had the same difficulties as my patients in overcoming these self-destructive patterns. While we are creatures of habit, we can be motivated to change if we strive for health, longevity and greater happiness.
Having used myself as a case study let me give an example from my psychotherapy practice. A patient worked for two years without a pay raise. Finally, he was encouraged to approach his supervisor. He discovered that the supervisor was unaware of the situation and promptly got the patient his raise. This problem arose because of a personnel glitch and the patient’s not speaking up sooner. He had underestimated how valued a worker he was. His insecurities contributed to the problem! As a result off this experience, he was also able to consider other situations in his life that he could confront.
But let’s be realistic. Another supervisor could have acted differently and defensively. If he had, my patient could have considered all possible options, such as appealing to a director, looking for another job or biding his time if he was not ready to quit. While not wanting to unnecessarily prolong our suffering, we should avoid acting impulsively. It is best to carefully consider our options, including a change in the situation. For several of my patients the difficult supervisor was transferred or quit. Since we are each unique, there are no boilerplate solutions. Know thyself is a good maxim. One person may find it better to quit, another to bide his time. But each should consider the consequences of each choice.
Let me now mention couple relationships which offer not only many satisfactions but, as we all know, stresses as well. While we realize “talking it over” is helpful, all too often, each person goes into the defensive or critical mode. Criticizing and complaining are counter-productive, escalate the conflict and make a bad situation worse. Communication, while highly desirable, has to be constructive All too often we ignore the basic ground rules of effective communication. They include: a calm situation where both are willing to spend the necessary time to listen as well as talk. Rather than criticizing, or complaining and defensively not admitting to any fault, just listen. Don’t neglect to say what you like about the other person and the positive aspects of the relationship. If neither existed, why would you want to remain in such a relationship? Present the difficulties in perspective. I can’t go into all of the effective communication techniques that help resolve conflicts, but be assured there are many. If such discussions don’t help, consider other alternatives, including couple counseling. If your partner is unwilling to go, consider going yourself to get help as to what to do. Often, the partner who’s unwilling to come may change his or her mind. With a skilled therapist, couple counseling will help both persons realize what each is doing to contribute to the problems and what each can do to improve the situation.
One recent example is the couple that came to me, the wife saying, “He threw me out!” while the husband said, “She left and wouldn’t return.” It soon became clear that after a heated argument, he told her, “If you’re unhappy, you can leave.” After she left, she refused to return. By the way, anger, a stress itself, interferes with listening and thinking. The couple, after several sessions, realized that their intentions were not to end the relationship but rather that their words were expressing anger and frustration. They decided to again live together and in counseling learned to discuss and resolve their conflicts more rationally. If all efforts fail to resolve differences, couples may consider divorce to end a futile situation. Hopefully, each can learn from the experience and move on with their lives. If there are children, the couple should avoid involving them in their conflict and reduce as much as possible the damaging effects on them.
Let me summarize my approach, which is appreciably condensed in this brief article. First, realize stress is an inescapable aspect of living and may even prod us into improving our lives. Two, consider the causes of the stress (don’t leave yourself out!) and the options for reducing or eliminating it. Three, realize that many stressful situations have developed over time and may be complicated. So don’t expect instant solutions. Consider solutions a process in which we may be stymied, enter blind alleys, make blunders, but always consider the ways to recover and better resolve the situation. Four, realize that reactions to stress are not limited to fight or flight. Our human species has the capabilities for considering constructive options if we are motivated, realistic, persistent, flexible and are open to getting professional help. And lastly, realize that a realistically optimistic attitude can be maintained or learned if necessary to help us effectively handle the stresses in our lives and live more happily.
Jacob Jaffe
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/reducing-the-stress-in-your-life-personal–87593.html
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